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Started by #423718 [Ignore] 26,Feb,14 03:52
New Comment Rating: 5 Similar topics: 1.===== Joke Of The Day ===== 2.Anybody got a good joke! 3.small hands 4.Joke Central 5.It just a joke Comments: | ||
"This is your s3cret?" says the first guy.
"Try some dip," says the super salesman. They both take a little bit of dip.
"Fuck!" says the second guy. "This tastes like shit!"
"It is shit. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
*Lix*
They asked if there was anything they could do to get out of a citation, so the woman cop smirked and said, “If all three of you boys have 15 inches of dick between you, I’ll let you go.”
So the guys look to eachother and nod, and all agree to the terms.
The driver pulls out his dick, the cop measures it and says, “7 inches, not bad.”
The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out, and the cop measures it and says, “6 inches.”
The last guy in the back has a nervous look on his face but finally pulls his out and the cop (after she stops laughing) measures it and says, “2 inches. Looks like you guys just barely squeaked by!”
So they get out of the ticket and go back to the first guy’s house for a beer. After a couple of drinks they start bragging.
The first guy says, “You guys are lucky that I had seven inches.”
And then the second guy says, “You guys are lucky that I had six inches.”
And then the third guy says, “You guys are lucky that I had a hard-on!”
'Captain captain.! theres no women on board what will be do for pleasure'???
Captain say, 'Ohh... dont worry me laddie just stick ur dick in that barrel and everything will be alright while we're at sea'.
So after a few weeks at sea the guy sticks his dick in the barrel and gets a wonderful blow job.
So he does this every day after that until one day he sticks his dick in the barrel and nothing happened.
So he runs to the captain and says 'Captain captain! I stuck my dick in the barrel and nothing happened'.
Captain says 'Ohhh I forgot to tell you laddie its your turn in the barrel!'
"Oh boy," said the playwright, "you've just given me the title I've been searching for, for my new play."
"What's that?" the father replied.
"Hat on a Cot Tin Roof," the playwright replied.
* * * *
--------------------------------------- added after 2 minutes
"I'm going down to give blo od."
"How much do you get paid for giving blo od?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
/ʌɪˈrɒnɪk/
happening in a way contrary to what is expected, and typically causing wry amusement because of this
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l liked it and had a chuckle *lix*
'Twas the night before Christmas,and just for a stunt..
Santa buried his face in some hookers cunt...
There was a loud noise,and he jumped with a start.
It seems that the hooker cut loose with a fart.
All he could do,was splutter and spit.
His face and his beard were all plastered with shit.
The hooker just sat there,perched on the bed,
Panting and groaning,but her face turning red.
Santa was laughing and said with a cheer,
"I know what I'll do,I'll screw one of the deer."
They're cleaner and neater,and don't you suppose,
They'll be the right height,if I stand on my toes.
The hooker so puzzled,was scratching her head..
But which one is Rudolph and is there a Fred ?
A guy was in a sex question contest and he took along a French man to help him out if needed, but he didn't want to ask for help if he didn't need it.
The first question he was asked was: "You are with a beautiful nude woman, where is the first place you would kiss her?" He quickly answered "On the mouth." Next question: "Where is the second place you'd kiss her?" "On the breast." These answers were correct so the third question was: "Where is the third place you'd kiss her?"
This question made him very uncomfortable and he thought about it and began to squirm. Finally he turned to the French man who said "Don't look to me for help, I would have gotten the first two wrong."
1st one enters..
Nun1: ''Father,forgive me for i have sinned.I seen the male thing''.
Priest: ''Say 10 Our Fathers and wash your eyes in the Holy water''.
2nd nun enters..
Nun2: ''Forgive me Father for i have sinned.I've touched male thing''.
Priest: ''Say 20 Our Fathers and wash your hand in the Holy water''.
3th nun wants to enter but 4th one pushes her and enters before her..
Nun4: ''Father!You are crazy if you think I will wash my mouth after She washes her ass in the Holy water''!!
English - Chinese
That's not right! Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive? Hu Yu Ha i Ding
See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Fuk
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table! Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift! Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here! Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet! Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone! No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week! Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka
Your body odour is offensive Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great Fa Kin Su Pa
Jane: That’s a bit direct. Can’t you come up with something more beautiful?
Paul: I tried, but they didn’t want.
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