When I was young, my best friend explained jacking off to me. He actually took me in the school bathroom after school while we were waiting for the bus and tried to get me to do it with him. I was pretty shocked by the whole thing, and was very inhibited about showing myself to my friend. I'd noticed when a bunch of us gang-pissed as a lark one day after school that, of all the kids, my wiener was bigger than others, even the older kids. I had been razzed about it and had taken to never showing it to anyone. I only got a cursory demonstration because I didn't take part, so I rode home on the school-bus with a full boner.

My friend had held his wiener with two fingers, about half way up between the top and bottom, and had lightly tossed it forward and back until he cummed. (A little bit at that age). I tried it when I got home, locked myself in the battery , and pulled my pants down to sit on the toilet. Because it was so strange and novel, I actually started to get off right away. I was so dizzy when I came that I just about blacked out sitting on toilet. It took about two weeks of experimenting, locked in the bathroom, or lying in bed at night with my pajamas pulled down. I could cum almost instantly, and then, within a couple minutes, I could start again. Being an optimistic, I prepared a little stash of piles of tissue, envisioning doing it over and over again. Sadly, I found that four back-to-back events was all I could manage at one time.

Regardless, I continued my solitary jacking....I still didn't want to show anybody my wiener, so it was a private thing. When I tried jacking the first few times, I did it the way I'd seen my best friend and his little brother do it....Holding it loosely and very sloppily manipulating the thing so it was pretty uncontrolled. I realized fairly quickly that I didn't like the feeling of clasping my hand around the shaft....My hand was slightly too big and my wiener was fairly thin, so it overlapped. I tried a few things. I noticed that my wiener had a fairly long uneven hood, almost like the doctor had done it last thing on a Friday night before a holiday weekend, lol. I had just enough foreskin left that I could jack off by moving that outside skin up and down over the shaft. This made it fairly easy to jack off at night, because I could spit in my hand to get it wet and skin it forward and back to make it feel good. All the other boys held it that way too ....all high and tightly circumcised. I surmised that I had figured something good because I could quietly spit on my hand and go for it.

I tried the one hand casual shaft clench, but it didn't quite work...My thumb rested in the wrong place. By trial and order, I was able to tell that either I had to adopt the general hand slap and what I'd started to think of a "hitchhiker's thumb" worked best if I clasped the shaft between my clenched fist with the underhanded open clasp worked well and then I found that I could take half of my shaft in my grasp, pull my thumb along side my cock folded on my jerking hand and the extra length and width that was created, made my hand fit a lot more as I did my first grip enjoying the full stuff that I could deal with one on one. I took the opportunity do that hand thing, and it felt right.....The full hand clasp with my thumb wrapped along the bottom of my cock was perfect, with my thumb on my frenulum, pushing that extra skin up, forward and back over my glans. I knew this was going to become my favorite way of bringing myself off.

I got pretty good at it. As I started producing more precum, I found that I could use my thumb to smear it over my glans. I was jacking my cock almost every time I had a chance to be alone when I couldn't be discovered. I got so I could make myself cum in under a minute, but if there was time to stretch it out, I could edge myself for well over an hour.

Over the years, I got to be a real expert at jerking myself off this way......Practice makes perfect, and I practiced lots. It was much later that I realized the flaw in what I was doing, and I only came to that conclusion many years later when I began to read articles that talked about how men sometimes masturbated incorrectly. The term most often used was "death grip", which sounds grim, but what it refers to you is men holding their cock so tightly that they had difficulty reaching orgasm from normal sexual activities....

Nothing anyone could do, either gripping a cock in a vagina, or an anus, or a mouth could simulate the same sort of sensation. The "experts" said that because guys could get so accustomed to the death grip that regular sexual intercourse or oral sex couldn't produce the sensations needed to trigger an orgasm. And, I realized that probably was me.......

I had discovered quite early in my experiments in sex with girls that I was taking a long time to reach orgasm. I initially thought it was probably the result of my first somewhat disastrous attempt to have intercourse with my girlfriend. The first time, either because she wasn't lubed enough to make the path slippery, or more likely, that my cock was so big that a regular condom was overly-tight, I orgasmed, and when I withdrew, I was horrified to find the rubber in tatters. I didn't discuss it with my girlfriend, and I don't know that she ever realized what had happened. I sweated bullets for weeks until she finally had her period and I realized she hadn't gotten pregnant. From that point on, I practiced a strange sort of birth control, just withdrawing if I thought I was about to come, and more often, just refraining from letting myself reach the point of no return. I had no idea that enough pre-ejaculate was still getting in there to make it a dangerous way to prevent pregnancy.

By the time I finally had a girlfriend who was taking birth control pills and it was safe for me to cream inside her, I was finding that I'd (I thought) trained myself not to cum. It was frustrating for me, but I developed an inner smugness that I never talked to anybody else about. I was thinking I was Superman because I could avoid cumming and fuck my girlfriend for an hour or two, when most of the guys I knew had trouble not ejaculating in five minutes. I was deluding myself, I know now, and was actually in the early stages of anorgasmia - the inability to reach orgasm, or significantly delayed orgasm that lacked any real impact.

I did eventually come across girls who were less than thrilled with my ability to fuck indefinitely although lots of girls thought it was cool. But, when I married my first wife, she very quickly saw it as a problem. She'd want to stop after about ten minutes, and initially would treat me to heavily-lubed handjobs (which worked great) and after while, she'd just ask me to look after myself.

She persuaded me to go to my family doctor to complain about it, which was embarrassing, and it resulted in my wife and I being referred to a psychologist who treated it as a marital issue. Needless to say, it never got solved, and within two years, my wife and I were split up. Playing the field again, I did fairly well finding sex partners, as a lot of girls were used to minute-men who couldn't last long enough to get them off, and my long duration was not so much of a problem. However, I had a couple of long live-in relationships and other marriages that gave me a better insight into the fact that something was wrong. And, in more recent years, I started reading more articles about masturbation issues as the subject became more publicly acceptable to discuss. And it's been more in recent years that I began to associate my finely tuned jerkoff method as the "death grip" that's criticized as causing the very problem I have.

I still tend to jerk off the same way. Quite honestly, the handjobs most people give, wither male or female, feel limp and loose, and won't bring me to a point of orgasm. I still think I'd like to find a way to retrain myself to appreciate conventional masturbation. Periodically, I've seen ads on Facebook for businesses that claim they can basically reprogram you to become normal in a matter of weeks. I wasn't in a position to afford it when I first saw this advertised, but I know if I see ads about this again, I'll probably try that.

One thing I've realized quite belatedly. I've rarely ever indulged in using lube when I jerk off. When I was young, lubrication meant it would be noisy, at a point where I still was trying desperately to keep my family from discovering what I did when I was alone. And later, it tended to make jerking off a really messy process that involved a lot of cleanup and more time spent dealing with the peripherals. Because I have enough foreskin left to be able pull it over much of my glans, I have more luck masturbating dry than some guys. I always considered myself lucky and I've rarely ever pursued it for that reason. In the last little while, I bought myself a powered vacuum pump, just as a toy, and because it's snug going on and off over my cock, I've had more occasions to apply lube, particularly pulling out of it. That's given me some fresh insights into the idea of jerking off with lube, and I may try to use lube more often, in hopes it'll make me a little less dependent on the "death grip".

I haven't often had a partner the last few years....It's almost always me, and what I can do on my own.....but, I find myself hoping to find someone to play with that I can talk into giving me some lubed jerkoffs that give me a chance to experiment with this whole thing. I've always had a keen interest in the idea of someone using their cum as lube to get me slippery and bring me off. That's about all I have to say at this moment - But, this has made me horny as hell, and I think, maybe tonight it might be time for a jerkoff marathon.