You've all heard the expression "Sex, drugs, and rock and roll". They do seem to go together in a lot of respects, but for a few minutes, let's set rock and roll aside, and talk about sex and drugs. They do appear to be natural companions, whether it's legal drugs such as alcohol or in some cases 420 marijuana, or the less legal things generally referred to as street drugs.

I was only a teenager when I was first discovering the joy of sex, and realized almost right away that when there were drugs happening, sex was often more available. In some cases, using drugs even seemed to be the thing that precipitated sex. That created an increased interest in drugs because, being a teenager, anything that led to sex was a positive thing. I think pretty much everybody experimented with alcohol in some way as a teenager, whether it was buying beer from a bootlegger or stealing liquor from behind mom and dad's bar at home. I did it for a little while...buying a case of beer from a bootlegger....primarily because it seemed like a forbidden adult activity, and occasionally, if I got drinking with a girl, I got to neck and finger her, or maybe even get a handjob or hit a home-run. I was a somewhat sheltered kid, so I had limited experience with girls and didn't get laid for the first time till I was eighteen. I also didn't much care for drinking after the initial thrill wore off. My old man was a functioning alcoholic, so while booze didn't lead to real horror at home, there wasn't much there to attract me either.

When I was nineteen, I got smoked up for the first time. I was working at my first job and a coworker that I drove home one afternoon invited me in to play some guitar. He pulled out a joint, and being a young guy who'd try anything once, I took a few tokes. I got absolutely blasted (funny,because it was Mexican commercial pot that people would turn up their noses at now) I went home, put on my headphones and zoned out listening to music. Inevitably, I got outrageously horny and jerked off to a spectacular orgasm....not once, but three times. I'd finally made the connection between sex and drugs. If I was stoned, it would leave me absolutely throbbing hard and I could cum with some of the best orgasms I'd ever had.

It took a while, but I eventually started to make connections here and there that gave me opportunities to buy pot, and, as I'd hoped, I met girls who would smoke pot with me and it led to some of the best sexual adventures I'd had up to that point. I realized that I loved pot and the good times it led to. I started buying it whenever I ran into somebody who was selling, and my drug use grew exponentially. I could smoke alone and have spectacular orgasms on my own, or toke up with girls who were only too happy to let me take their panties off after we got stoned. I was, almost certainly, a sex addict, and because pot made sex so much better, I became cross-addicted - one habit fed the other. Pot didn't really take over my life, but I got so I'd smoke it as a prelude to weekend partying, before I went to work, as a relaxer when I got home at night. And, being a sex addict, I loved the fact that it made jerking off so much better. And, I loved to jerk off as a wakeup in the morning, any time it was convenient during the day, and through the evening, leading up to an orgasm that helped me sleep.

I worked at a job starting when I was 25 that led to more of it. One of my bosses at the audio store I worked was a pot head as well, and he'd take me up on the roof when we were open Friday nights and get me absolutely fried, which made work in a stereo/records store even better. (Sex, drugs and rock and roll, remember?) About two years into that job, one night,as we were coming down from toking on the roof of the store, he told me there was a Christmas bonus for me in the bathroom. I was mystified, but he took me into the store bathroom, took down a mirror from the top of the medicine cabinet, and asked me if I'd ever done cocaine. I said no, but being young and ready to try anything, I snorted the two lines he'd laid out for me, and it was marvelous. I sold three stereo systems over the next three hours, had a hell of a good time, and at 9:00 PM, we locked up the store for the night. I drove directly to a gig my band was playing (I sang and played bass, fronting a power trio) and had a memorable night. (Sex, drugs and rock and roll, again)

Cocaine was pretty rare in those days. Maybe once a year, if you were lucky, there'd be a chance to buy a gram, and I always said yes. I'd discovered that if pot made sex good, cocaine made sex a headline event. There was never a chance to buy more cocaine when you ran out, so you rationed it carefully, knowing that it might be a long, long time before there was more. That was the thing that kept me from going overboard with it, the way I'd begun to do with pot. And it was a good thing.....I could smoke pot constantly and it never kept em broke from buying drugs, or took over my life. With coke, it would probably have crashed and burned my life a lot quicker. But, I continued to smoke pot and expanded my horizons to include hot-knifing hashish. I got stoned lots, and whenever there were drugs, it seemed like sex was more readily available.

That lifestyle went on for years.......I lived life, got stoned on pot and hash, and screwed my brains out and pig-dogged, like most young horny guys do, nailing anything that I had the chance to. I'd also had one brief experience when I was nineteen or twenty, getting stoned with a new coworker, which led to my first adventure sucking with another guy. Occasionally, cocaine turned up unexpectedly, and I always bought it when I could. At the time I was living with a girl who'd moved from the big city and she also loved screwing on cocaine, and introduced me to the world of poppers, sniffing "Rush" (amyl nitrate). A bit more coke was starting to be available, and we bought it whenever we could. And, the stereo store I was working by that point, bought each of the employees a gram of incredibly high quality cocaine as a Christmas bonus. Cocaine was wonderful.....It still led to new and increasing more bizarre sex which was wonderful. My live-in girlfriend (who was my cousin) loved sex as much as I did, and I'd made a male coworker friend who was just as interested in sex as we were which led to some interesting group scenes. Coke was a part of it whenever we had it, and smoking dope was a multiple times per day event. My life largely revolved around sex and drugs.

Without getting into the gory details, cocaine led to me making a lot of bad choices, fucking anybody I could, and resulted in my relationship with my girlfriend ending. We briefly experimented with free-basing (the forerunner of crack cocaine) and the sex got wilder. To make a long story a bit shorter, between my early twenties and my late thirties, I'd gone through two marriages and three live-in girlfriends. I won't claim it was totally due to drugs, but the drugs were a big factor in me making a lot of unfortunate choices, fucking anything that moved, and inevitably ending what should have been some really good relationships. When I was in my late thirties, separated from my second wife, and floundering financially in a sudden one-income household, I invited a guy I'd known as a stereo customer for years to move in as a room-mate. He was quite a bit younger, and shared my attitudes toward sex and drugs, so I knew we'd be compatible living together.

He had a penchant for must younger girls, and suddenly, my house became a mecca of teenage girls who were all drugs hounds and very interested in sex. To my credit, I could see that it would be dangerous for me, in my late thirties, to get mixed up with a teenage girl, so I remained peripheral to the partying that was going on all around me. But I smoked dope with them all regularly and had some incredible jerkoff fantasies about them - There was lots of heavy flirting a flashing going on and it fed my masturbation like nothing else had for a long time. Then, one day my room-mate mentioned that they were going to have an "Acid party" and he asked me if I wanted to be involved. Being a drug hound, I was up for anything. I'd never done LSD-25, but was incredibly curious, and I wondered "If pot and hash made sex good, and cocaine made sex great, what would acid be like?". I said yes, deal me in, and when he came in a day later, he had four hits of blotter acid that he sold me.

That Friday night, we acid-partied. There were seven teenage girls, my room mate, me and one girl's younger brother. We dropped acid, smoked several doobies, and had a hell of a good time sitting around the living room, listening to music (sex, drugs and rock and roll), talking about everything under the sun, including some really risque sex talk that was mildly shocking, coming out of teenager girls who I never expected to hear "cock-sucking" or "cunt" from. I began to realize that these were some faily worldly young people. That night went on from about 6:00 PM until almost 3:30 AM this next morning. When I went to bed, it took me about as long as it took to get naked to realize I was so fucking horny that I'd have done just about anything. I was alone, but I laid in bed and jerked off, over and over, and wondered if it would ever be enough. My room-mate, who also had his door open was obviously doing the same thing, which I could hear plainly. Acid removed any sort of inhibitions, and I was quite happy that we could hear each other, juicily stroking our cocks, and cumming over and over. In retrospect, it surprised me that we didn't take it further......yet.

I woke up the next day, happier than I'd been in a long time. My cock was down-right sore after having had at least ten wet orgasms and probably another half dozen dry-heave orgasms after the cream ran out. After that, whenever they talked about acid parties,I was in there without question. Acid had turned out to be the best sex drug yet. It had the advantage of being cheap...5.00 a hit...and it was self-limiting - It only worked well if you did it every third day. Any quicker and chemical tolerances in the body meant it just didn't work well. But it led to me dropping acid a couple of times each week. And, bonus, my room-mate and I had started having private parties after all the young girls had left for the night. We began dropping acid later in the evening, waiting for the coast to be clear, showering, and crashing out naked on my waterbed, watching porn. The acid left us uninhibited enough that we were comfortable jerking off together, and the acid made masturbation spectacular. It was only a matter of time before we began interacting, and he was the first partner I had while I was high on LSD-25. I loved sucking his cock and I'd happily suck him off for hours. It was a happy time in life.

After several months of the acid parties, which were becoming a Friday night regular event, my room-mate developed a relationship with one of the teenage girls.. She was incredibly pretty, heavy into goth makeup which didn't hurt her appearance, and an incredibly nice young lady. I never acknowledged it to anyone, but I fell in love from afar with her, and being at acid parties where she was a constant presence fed my masturbation fantasies better than any porn I could watch on the VCR. I used to go to bed after most of the people had left, leave my door open, and listen to my room-mate and her fucking up a storm in his bedroom, also with his door open. I knew it turned him on that I jerked off listening to them fucking up a storm, and he told me they could hear my juicily jerking my cock, high on acid, and everybody was grooving on the shared listening to what was going on. It wasn't long after that that one night there was a suggestion that we watch movies while we acid partied. I brought my VCR out to the living room, and we rolled a couple of video tapes, "Cat People" and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". (Sex, drugs, and rock and roll).

After that acid party broke up, people started leaving, and eventually it was just me, my room-mate and his young girlfriend. They helped me smoke a couple of doobies, and then they decided to go to bed. I was really cooked on the acid...We'd graduated to doing several hits every acid night...partly to get a more intense acid trip, and partly to make it last longer. They drifted off to his bedroom, leaving the door open, and got into bed wanting to fuck. I was so horny I was dribbling precum, really wanted to jerk off, and also really wanted to listen to them fucking. I got up to pee, and while I was up, I went to my bedroom and scooped up some porn. My VCR was still in the living room, but I didn't want to bother moving it to my bedroom. And, in all honesty, it was turning me on thinking about getting naked in the living room, watching porn with the sound off, and listening to them fucking in the bedroom with the door open. I took off my clothes. started a porn movie, and laid down on the couch. I was thrilled at idea that if they happened to use the bathroom, they'd see me jerking off. I wouldn't deliberately interact with any of these young teenage girls, but I was so horny that I really wanted to be seen. I'd discovered that I was an exhibitionist and the thought that my room-mate's girlfriend, the prettiest and sexiest of that whole group of girls, might see my cock was really exciting.

I've already written a blog about that night, which stands out in my memory as one of my favorite flashes I've ever participated in. If you want to read it, it's called "A Memorable Flash" and is in my blog page, from about five years ago. Link - /blogs/47189.html
I rally enjoyed that night and it was one of the most electric flashing exhibitions I'd ever done. It gave me a hunger to do it again, with my room-mate's girlfriend, and other people too. And, it confirmed something I'd believed for years...That sex and drugs go hand-in-hand. The next day, after she was gone, I rolled a joint and sat smoking it with my room-mate. He told me that she'd come back to the bedroom, relating the while thing to him. And he told me that she'd told him that I had a really nice cock. I loved hearing that. A couple of weeks later, after a Friday night acid party, I made a point of being the first one to talk about going to bed. I went into my bedroom, left the door open and the lights on, and found reasons to move around so I could be seen. I rolled more joints, dropped another two hits of acid, and laid on the waterbed, in line with the door so I could be seen, and proceeded to do a major demonstration of how I liked to jerk off. I could tell by the sounds and the shadows I could see in the hallways that she stood there and watched me. I made it last a long time, fascinated by the shadows on the hallway wall that tod me she was fingering her cunt as she watched. I finished with a huge load which I squirted on my belly (and a couple of shots that hit my face) and when it was done, I ate my cream so she could watch.

Like most things, nothing lasts forever. A few months later, my room-mate told me the girl was pregnant. I was initially horrified, fully expecting that her parents would tar and feather him, but surprisingly, they were okay with and he told me that he'd be moving and getting a place with her where they could raise the baby. I was sad because I knew life would change for me....I didn't expect to see the young girls as much anymore (although a few times I was surprised) and I knew it was likely the end of the acid parties, and probably the end of him and I getting together to party and porn-out together. I continued to buy acid and do it a couple of times each week. I'd discovered that after I started doing LSD-25, my need for the anti-depressants that I'd need for years weren't required anymore. The acid became all I needed to function and stay together. Everything was going okay for a while. I had several of the young ladies drop in unexpectedly to smoke a joint and there were many occasions where I was cooked on acid. I didn't do anything overt, but I'd taken to wearing a loose-fitting pair of short-legged shorts commando, and I found multiple opportunities to arrange myself so my cock or cock and balls were exposed through the open legs of my shorts. I got some very positive reactions from them so I made it happen fairly often, and it seemed that they were visiting me more regularly. I never tried to push it beyond flashing, but knowing how they seemed to like it led to many intense jerk-off sessions. Much later, after the drug scene had turn from LSD-25 to cocaine, two of them asked me for an introduction to my dealer. I'm not proud of it, but I facilitated it. They couldn't have a mobile dealer stop by their homes, so they'd come to my house to get their stuff, and virtually always ended up sharing it. I engaged in some harmless flashing when they came to do drugs which I know they liked a lot. They were all smiles when I'd let my cock hang out the leg of my shorts It led to a lot of great jerk-off sessions for me afterward, and one very memorable occasion when I stripped naked and let them watch me cum. They stripped for me too, although that was the extent of their participation. They had lovely cunts and they made me cum so good. Probably the closest I've ever come to anything really immoral, but something I don't think led to any long-term consequences.

I used to buy my acid at that point from a guy who was a"mobile" dealer....You'd page him, and a short time later, he'd drive by and sell me acid. Then, one day he drove by unexpectedly - I hadn't even paged him yet, but he told me that his source had dried and he didn't have any and probably wouldn't be able to get more. My heart sank.....This was not only the source of the best sex I'd ever found, but also the product I'd used in lieu of anti-depressants to stay healthy. I ended up asking him what he did have to sell. He shrugged and said "I've got coke". Needless to say, I bought some. I hadn't had any for about four years, but I really wanted to renew old acquaintances, and in my screwed-up mind, I thought I could use coke the way I'd used acid for pleasure and health. The fact that it was so cheap made it an easy decision. When I'd first bought cocaine, it was 80.00 -300.00 per gram. Now, the stuff my current dealer was selling was 50.00 for a half a gram, and if you wanted an eight-ball (eighth of an ounce), it was 275.00. I started buying .4 gram (40.00) and .5 gram (50.00) packages fairly regularly. The situation was aided and abetted because I ran an automotive service business (car audio installation) out of my house part-time, and my dealer was happy to trade product for my services. It was easy to get carried away, and that point was the beginning of a roughly ten year run with cocaine before I drew a line in the sand and said I'm done.

One of the things I'm not proud of, but it's part of the story, which I want to be honest about. I had several close friends who I shared with when I had coke - It's just one of thos things you do, being generous with your friends. Inevitable, there was a point where they found out where I was getting it. First, they'd be at my place when my dealer came to drop off, or pick up his car after I'd worked on it. Then, they started buying from him while he was there, and then that led to them getting the dealer's pager number, and calling him on their own. So, to be brutally honest, I believe I enabled them. If it wasn't for me, they might never have made that connection, but I became the nexus for a plague of cocaine that ran through our lives for years. At the time it seemed pretty harmless, and the cocaine greased the wheel for a lot of the sex that followed - and there was a reasonable amount of it. I'd been divorced from my second wife for a few years by then. and had never found another relationship with a woman, but with that much coke in the mix, opportunities for sex were plentiful.

The friend that I'd first shared a girlfriend with became a long-term part of my life and we had a sex relationship of sorts most of that time. Another co-worker at an audio store became a close friend and he and I established a long-term oral relationship that on-and-off has continued to this day. There were others.....a male/female couple who lived an open lifestyle. When I heard about that, I managed to become one of their playmates, which went on for several years. They were buying coke as a result of me introducing them to the dealer, and I slept with both of them, individually and as a couple for a long time. The lady in that couple became my first female jerk buddy for a long time. We're no longer as close, as they've relocated, but still consider them good friends. There were others.....My previous room-mate became a customer of my dealer, and he crashed and burned losing his relationship as a result, and other friends as well. Virtually all those people became unhealthily involved with cocaine because I enabled them, and I think I had some sort of sexual relationship with all of them.

Like so many drugs tales, there are good stories and bad.....A few people managed ultimately to shake the habit off, but for a lot of them, there was a lot of misery before they finally were able to quit. I was the first one of the whole group who began to see how destructive it had become, and I tried to make amends. I approached all of them individually, and tried to a solo intervention, telling them that they should be quitting, and I'd do it with them so we could support each other. Some of them said "Yeah, yeah, we should quit", but they inevitably called the dealer and bought more. The last few years before I quit were a bit of a horror show. The first friend worked at a high-paying job in isolation. He'd come back from three months away with a hundred or two hundred thousand dollars in his pocket....All he wanted was a place to do coke, and every night, he'd roll into my driveway, throw a couple of eight-balls on the table and we'd start using. Because we'd had a sexual relationship, he took advantage of that and used me. To be brutally honest, I whored for drugs from for years before it ended. He wanted to fuck me, which I never liked, but put up with because he was the guy who put coke on my table everyday. And he wanted oral sex.....That is he wanted me to suck him off, although he never offered to reciprocate. He was dominant and rough and he face-fucked me often in a way that took all the fun out of oral. But, I put up with it because I wanted the cocaine. That relationship ended badly.....One day, on my birthday, he wanted to fuck me. I was reluctant, but he forced me. I don't like to say it, but that day, I got raped. It was a horrifying, incredibly painful, traumatic experience that I still remember like it was yesterday. It's one of the reasons that I have so much insight and empathy with women who are assaulted. And, to be honest, it's one of reasons why I still decline to get involved in either side of anal penetration.

It probably sounds like life was strictly about cocaine, but over the years I experimented with almost anything that came along....as long as it wasn't injected. I was smart enough to draw that line. But, I tried MDMA (ecstasy) but it did nothing for me, Special K (ketamine) which didn't appeal at all, Methamphetamine (which I didn't like smoking or snorting, although I loved how it felt spread on my glans),Mushrooms (been there, done that - okay, but not my cup of tea). GHB (really a nice experience to do with someone you love, but unappealing when I hear about date **** using it). I'm sure there are lots of others I'm forgetting, but you get the idea- For me cocaine was the major player and the one that finally made me say no more. I did an eight-ball of coke that my wealthy "friend" gave me, basically had a psychotic break, and ended up signing myself into the psych ward of the hospital, telling them to lock me up or I was going to put an end to it. I was sincere in my desire to quit......While I was on the psych ward, I met a girl who was there after having been beaten up badly by a boyfriend. I fell in love, realized I couldn't have the girl unless I gave up the drugs, and when we were both discharged from hospital, I joined Narcotics Anonymous.

That's over twenty years ago. I married the girl - She became my third wife and I loved her dearly, but unfortunately she died two years later, ironically in an alcohol-related accident at home. But I realized that the best way I could honor her memory is to keep being the kind of man she could fall in love with. So, I didn't lose my drug recovery when she died, and to this day, I've never touched cocaine. I'm more or less a non-druggie now. Can't drink because of my kidneys, smoked dope sparingly to cope with spinal arthritis until it eventually stopped working for me at all ( I guess my body's developed too much tolerance to it after all these years, and I get nothing from it) and the only thing left, aside from cigarettes, is LSD-25. Ironically, it was the drug that I lost the ability to get that got me chained to cocaine for decades.......

Now, I live in a geographical area where small amounts of what used to be called street drugs are now decriminalized. and I can legitimately buy pure, lab-tested LSD-25 online. It's one of two substances, LSD-25 and MDMA, which are being seriously tested by legitimate medical research facilities as potential treatments for some serious psychiatric ailments. Use of psilocybin treatment is also under investigation. I've been using LSD-25 for almost a year to cope with the PTSD I was diagnosed with after first, being raped, and second, coping with the trauma of finding my third wife, drowned in the bathtub. It helps me a lot. I won't claim it's strictly medical and I don't like it......I still love the sexual side-effects - being horny beyond belief, which is a great boon when you're older and at an age where some guys are starting to lose their abilities in bed. I'll probably always love acid, but it's made a huge impact on my everyday life. I was crippled by PTSD, and now, I'm not 100% better, but I no longer suffer from panic attacks and social anxiety that prevent me from going public places. This isn't a perfect ending....Not sure if such a thing exists in real life, but for me, this is as good as it gets. I consider myself to have been clean for well over twenty years, and if there's a happy ending, it's that I've found a legitimate reason to use LSD-25, which helps my health and provides me with some level of sexual satisfaction even though I haven't had a partner to love for over two decades.

So...Sex, drugs and rock and roll....Yup. I still have a sex life, even if it's solo, I still have drugs - my LSD-25, and I still rock and roll, playing in a classic rock band. You're never too old to rock and roll,