When I give head my subject is sitting comfortably however they wish. my hands are normally occupied cupping and stroking the balls, stroking the dick once or twice. I pride myself on getting him off with my mouth so I dont stroke it with my hand but I do massage the taint and if he wishes I finger his hole. I am very good at what I do so cumming is not a problem and when that happens I absolutely swallow, depending on who it is I do savor it a little.
When I get a blow job my hands are usually occupied pushing his head down on my dick if he likes that, also I will play with my own balls and sometimes stroke his ears and neck. and other time I use my hands to control the porn playing.

I usually get blown when I'm kicking back in my comfy chair. The guy sucking often puts his hands on my thighs. I put mine on the arms of my chair. Occasionally, I'll take both his hands in mine. If it's near the end and I want him to know we're almost there. I want the guy to hold still while I squirt. When I've finished he can milk out the rest with his mouth. I strongly prefer the kind of cocksucker who *wants* to swallow. I like knowing that my orgasm nourished his need for seed. (Also, once a guy swallows your sperm he is officially your cocksucking bitch.)

When getting a blow job, I keep my hands down by my side. I am just enjoying some cock in mouth time, I am not directing. A good blow job always has cum in mouth. But I don't really care what they do with it. After I ejaculate they can swallow, spit, or just let it run down the shaft. The important thing is to suck it out with relish. I also like hands on my cock shaft and balls while the cock is being sucked. And it is perfect if the sucker just keeps working on my cock after I cum.