Suicide hit me like a ton of bricks (again) today. I am a chef and the owner of the restaurant committed suicide yesterday. He was also a friend.

I happen to know a lot about it because I lost my br0ther to it on Feb 06, 2001.

Suicide is not hereditary, it's a learned problem solving behaviour. It's not uncommon for a family to suffer more than one suicide.

80% of suicide attempts are made by women and 80% of "successful" suicides are men.

60% of American gun deaths are suicide.

I'm not angry about how he left his wife, daughter, two sons and two grandchildren so suddenly and violently with his gun.

I don't feel guilt as in the shoulda, coulda, woulda.

I'm sad.

I'm so sad that he didn't feel that he could talk to me, someone or anyone about how he felt.

I don't feel anger and guilt because I have already learned that it's not my fault and it's not his fault either. He was sick. Why we differentiate between health and mental health I don't know. Health is health and he wasn't healthy.