OK it's been a while - I thought that I would update my feelings and perhaps start a discussion SelfCBT.

I use to worry that what I do is not normal and if anyone where to know what THEY would think! I've been a SelfCBTer since puberty and always tried to know why? Don't get me wrong it has interfered with some relationships - at the same time it has heightened others. Now, after a life time I don't care. It's my body and I will enjoy it the I wish for has long as possible!

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I've come to know that through my exploration - SelfCBT and a recent discovery of Tantric Masturbation - I am a stronger better person and a more caring Lover.

I would Love to hear how other SelfCBter's feel and how we may support each other.

Thanks for listening.

So I found a new level of pain - Please check out my most resent postings - It was amazing, I realized two things with this new level:
One how well I can control my body in moments like this and Two how organismic it can be
- the rush afterwards is indescribable!!!

Look forward to the next time - I'll let you know.

Hola me recuerda ha como empece yo con mis modificaciones , es algo que engacha y da mucho placer mas que alguien que es normal , creo que si se tiene el pene pequeñito queda muy exotico y morbo Estoy ultimando mi modificacion y es dejar la uretra cerca del ano .
SI deseas aprender hacer modificaciones con anestesico y para que salga bien sin problemas contactame

So I found a way to give myself a proper burn - the scar should be just right after things heal - It will hurt for a good two weeks I'm sure! It looks like a 3rd degree burn.

It was not as hard has I thought it would be. I'm learning to control my base reaction. I also like to play with fire and I'm getting stronger there as well.

Here is a before and after shot for you there is video in my profile if you would like to see more.

So for awhile now I have been trying to decide on how to modify my penis. Has you know I am in the mist of branding myself slowly and over time. I had been thinking about tattooing - the question has been what tattoo and could I find some one willing to do the tattooing. That added to the piercings I want - and I want to do them myself - I thought that might work for me. I was never overly happy with this plan and have been try to find what it is that I truly want. Finally it came to me.

I was working on an other branding session, it hit me not tattoo - BRANDING and SCARIFICATION. I am going to transform myself through many years of branding and scaring. I've purchased a wood burning kit with all kinds of different tips. Over the next little while I will practice how to make different shapes on wood and when I feel confident I will turn the iron on myself.

I will start with three inverted triangles along the top of my penis - right down the center - in line with my current branding. I also think that I'm going to start drawing on myself to see what I might like. At the moment, I'm thinking a Celtic knot down and around the right side over a feather that goes along the side, Butterflies on the other side. Has for the underside of my penis I'm not sure - any thoughts would be welcome - and for my balls I would like them to just be black and ugly some how - may need a tattoo after all!!!

I keep you updated has I go.

Well I did I told my guy who and what I really am! And has I thought he ran, is it me? Am I really that strange that no one can understand me? Am I alone in this world - I hope that some-one on this site might get it!

he, i like pain done by myself love one would do me

I had a small session today. I was continuing with my slow branding and I found that I can now hold a cigarette on my self long enough to create a second degree burn, I can watch has the blister forms. It has taken a lot of practice to train myself not to react to the pain. can't wait to experiment further!!! I'll update you has I go.

I have a dilemma I've been seeing someone a time now - A nice guy, VERY STRAIGHT, I've been open with him about who I am and that I a outside the norm and that I accept this of myself, other peoples moralities are their problem!

So my dilemma is that we are at that point!!! And, I need to prepare for what he will see - Now and in the future (I started this Blog, as well has my Profile, to share my transformation) to make sure he understands that this is just the beginning. I don't want him to be part of anything he is not comfortable with or to be a part of it just that he knows who I am and can he accept it has I have.

I have had so many potential love run away at this point that it can make me fell Like I the only one. Maybe I am but I don't think so, perhaps we'll find out here - together

I hope to put him off until next week - I would like things to heal more - I'll fill you in with what happens.

sounds like a fun activity and I look forward to your further adventures!! thnx for sharing.

I've decided that I would like to scare the head of my cock with a line down the middle. I would like to make that scare trough a combination of branding and cutting. Not just a single branding or cut but through many small burnings or small cuts over a long period of time. I've been at it a few months - you can my progression on my Profile - And what I noticed today in one of my sessions is the amount of time I am able to take the heat. At first it was only moments and today for the first time I was able to stay minutes until I blistered - it was truly amazing, to be able to train myself and allow myself to dig deep and stand for the deepest of feeling and extreme Pain.